about me

I am citrons (/si.tʁɔ̃/), the sentient lemons.


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contact information

I enjoy being sent messages, assuming they are nice. feel free to contact me for any reason whatsoever. email is most reliable.

XMPP (preferred over matrix)

channels/groups (bridged)

IRC channel
#m on mondecitronne.com (apionet)
XMPP channel
matrix channel [bridge is broken right now]

citrons explained

I enjoy self-consistency. I enjoy systems. I enjoy self-consistent systems. any artifact of existence is a fractal of systems. programming, logic, and mathematics are manipulations of self-consistent systems. this is why they are some of my favorite things.

reality is an affront to self-consistency. it presents a fractal of self-inconsistency, subjecting itself to infinite conflicting interpretations. I might wonder why a rubber band retracts when I release it, but even then, a fractal of unknowability is presented. I did not ask to be placed in this universe.

in my opinion, the hierarchy of reasons to exist looks something like this:

  1. love (appreciation of life, existence (this is tautological!))
  2. art (which includes all systems of human conception)

of course, art itself often presents self-inconsistent systems. but unlike reality, such self-inconsistency is of purpose. when self-inconsistency has no purpose in art, I find it detractful.

my definition of art is much wider than some people. art is culture. art is people doing beautiful things. art is people doing ugly things. art is enrichment. art is detriment. my definition is ironically nebulous, but my mind has a very specific model of it. an example of art could be a picture, a song, or a story, (these have a lot of overlap) but it could also be a scientific paper, an article about it, the software used to analyze its findings, or the tools used to find them. it could be a tradition, a habit, a concept, a secret language, a set of jargon or slang, or any such things.

however, what is a good set of examples without counterexamples? a great example of something that is most certainly not art is murder.

in my opinion, the hierarchy of reasons to not exist looks something like this:

  1. the state, a system of mass murder

this is a type of system I dislike.

this “murder” is very literal, but it is also figurative. it is the murder of love and art. it is the murder of free will. it is the murder of the ability to care about any of the murder.

it is impossible, at least for me, to talk about this with others because it immediately descends into the aforementioned fractal nonsense of reality. I often also meet against a jaded, superficially humorful attitude of “haha, that’s life” that twists inside me enough to be placed on the hierarchy of reasons to not exist. I have no idea what I should be doing about it because every possible action appears incapable of doing anything meaningfully positive and capable of doing harm.

as such, I largely ignore this aspect of life, having the luxury of being able to do so. that kind of works for now, for some definition of “now”.